The Dark Dance - A few brief thoughts

What is the Dark Dance we call BDSM? What is BDSM? Is it all about pain and people in gimp suits? Is it a huge sex orgy? Is it the same as swinging? Is it just men being made to dress as sissy's?

The letters BDSM have several meanings hidden behind them: BD = bondage and discipline, DS = Domination and submission, SM =sadism and masochism. I refer to it as a Dark Dance because when the interaction between a Dominant and a submissive is "spot on" it really is a case of steps that are danced with the other partner. The fluidity of an exceptional scene means that each dancer places their feet alongside those of their partner in perfect timing.

BDSM is not all about sex, though there is a large element of this as many gain sexual stimulation and gratification from various sensations. BDSM is more caring and tender than most realise, it is also focused on the enjoyment of sensations, role playing and the release of some base/core energies that many repress or deny. Many people would love to lash out at someone else to release tension, others engage in extreme sports or contact sports to get their "fix". In BDSM these feelings are openly accepted and embraced. Not only does the sadist get to release their tensions, but they also gain the joy of knowing the other person is having a wow of a time! Far better than going out, getting drunk and starting a fight!

The majority of human relationships contain power exchange in them, often with one person being more powerful than the other. Think about phrases such as "we know wears the trousers in that house" and decisions that are deferred until the other partner has made their mind up. At times, the power shifts between those involved in the partnership. In the Dark Dance this power interaction is more open and more visible. As a Mistress I am the person with power who makes decisions and who takes the lead. I hold this role through negotiation and permissions reached with those who serve Me. The negotiation of power is no longer hidden, but openly negotiated and embraced.

As for the image made popular by the media, while there are indeed those who wear gimp suits for their enjoyment, there are as many different styles of dress and personal expression in the Kinkdom as there are people. It is also possibly the only walk of life where nudity is not perceived as being inherently sexual and respect is afforded irrespective of attire.